What do you focus on?
Everyday or two I check to see if I have any comments on my blog posts and then I take a quick peek at the survey results. Today was one of those days. I love it when I get positive comments and when people like my posts. Today I noticed that I haven't had any comments for several months and only 109 people have taken part in the survey, 3 of whom didn't like something I wrote.
What came next surprised me. I let the opinions of others influence my feelings about my posts. I tried to second guess what 3 people may not have liked, doubted my own abilities and generally was a bit bummed by the survey results. I want everybody to appreciate what I share. Over 98% of the respondents liked what I wrote and only 2% didn't. Nobody's perfect, right?
What I found interesting is that I focused on that 2%, giving them more "power" than the other people who took part in the survey. I didn't even take into account the fact that more than 5,000 people have actually read one or more of my blog entries. And I don't have a clue as to how my blog may have impacted their way of viewing things. The 3 people who didn't like something I said only represent .0006% of my total readership and I don't actually know what they specifically didn't like.
Once I realized what I was doing, I changed my focus. I remembered that I write because I truly enjoy the art of communicating my way of looking at a situation. I do it more for me than for the reader. The process helps me get clarity about my thoughts on a subject and puts me in contact with my creativity. My intention is that my commentaries provide readers with another perspective on a subject.
I also reminded myself that those 3 readers have as much right to their opinions as I do to mine. They don't have any more or less rights. Something I wrote may have planted a seed that may germinate for awhile and then cause the 3 readers to see the possibility that there is a different way to view the world and their individual lives. Or maybe they won't. It really doesn't matter.
I have to let go of my attachment to results and my desire to be liked by everybody. It's not going to happen. As long as there is more than 1 person in a situation, there will be different perspectives on the same topic or event. That's what makes life interesting. How boring it would be if there was no diversity of thought or beliefs. It's opposing points of views that spark an expansion in the way a situation is looked at and that causes growth. As the saying goes, "it's the irritation that creates the pearl."
Posted by Joanne P. Stein at 8/16/2011 11:24 AM 
Categories: Personal Growth, commnication skills, relationships, Coaching, Creativity
Tags: awareness beliefs communication skills personal growth relationships self-confidence
Categories: Personal Growth, commnication skills, relationships, Coaching, Creativity
Tags: awareness beliefs communication skills personal growth relationships self-confidence
Great article Joanne. We are actually programmed to look for the negative. This is an old survival response from our days of being hunters and gatherers, looking out for danger out there. Obviously we do not need that anymore today, but that specific part of our brain does not know that. I find a lot of compassion in knowing that my brain has been programmed for that and needs a little adjustment. Compassion for having made sure I did not get killed is a good start. Then doing exactly what you are doing: questioning your focus on the few 'not likes'. Lately I have been focusing on an old conditioned belief: that I need to feel guilty and bad because I grew up in that kind of environment, where somehow I became the 'bad one'. The way I focus on it is with curiosity and a questioning of it: Really? Am I really bad? Do I really need to feel guilty because someone else wants me to be different than I am?? Really? The unconscious focus has become conscious, so hopefully soon I can remove my focus on that completely, and focus on what I love: God, Love, Stillness, Presence inside and out, Gratitude, Receiving Love etc. Right now I am sharing my focus between the two and it feel right to allow my loving focus to dissolve the misinterpretation from the past. Blessings to you!
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Well said, Joanne. Perspective is everything! Think how many people have positive viewpoints about your blog and congratulate yourself!
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