To make your life fulfilling, you must take control of it and that's not easy. The quality of your life depends on your thoughts, your actions, your focus and your direction.  You are responsible for controlling all the various aspects of your life, whether you choose to exercise that control or not. When you take control, things will work out the way you want them to more often (notice I didn’t say always) than if you let others or "happenstance" control your life.

Taking control does not necessarily mean being forceful or imposing your will on others. It means living your own way, asserting and affirming the unique value of your own life, making your own special mark on the world. Taking control need not be selfish or greedy. You have something to offer and you can make a difference in a way that no one else can. When you are firmly in control of your own life, then you’re in the very best possible position to fully utilize your talents and fulfill your own unique possibilities.

The aspects of your life over which you exercise control and for which you take responsibility, will move you positively toward your own unique kind of success and fulfillment. Take control of your attitude, your financial and material resources, your relationships, your health, your environment, your career, your future and your values. Life gives you so very much with which to work–make use of it! Take control, and get the most from every day. It's not easy but it very worthwhile.

I’ve been “walking my talk” concerning taking control of my life and it’s has been difficult. In the course of being my authentic self and living according to my values, I may have lost a friend. Last week, I asked my friend why she was more concerned about an aspect of MY life than I was and why she didn’t think I could solve my own problems. She pushed my “mommy buttons” and, since I didn’t stand up to my mom when situations presented themself, I decided to try to do things differently this time. It may have backfired in my face but I’m glad I was willing to try something different.

In an email response to me, my friend said, “I do not want the responsibility of censoring or adjusting either myself or my behavior to accommodate how you (or anyone for that matter) might interpret what I do and say.  Been there done that!  I really am appreciative and thank you for your wonderful intellect, wisdom, insights and spiritual companionship this far on our journey toward enlightenment– but choose, at this time, not to continue the relationship.”

This saddens me. If two good friends who believe in spiritual principles can’t work through a disagreement, how do we expect waring countries to reach a peaceful settlement? If the price for the friendship means that I can’t express how I feel, then there really wasn’t a close friendship to begin with. Both of us wanted the other to be different from what we are. I’ve chosen to feel everything – even sadness over the possible loss of a friendship. To make a different choice, would mean that I would put somebody else’s happiness above my own and there would be a physical and emotional price for me to pay. I’ve done that for a lifetime with my mom as well as others and it hasn’t produced positive results. My friend feels the same way about how she chooses to interact with people. Moreover, she has as much right to her desires as I have to mine. It’s my hope, in time, that this rift between us can be healed because I really would like to find common ground. I know it may not be easy but, from my perspective, I believe the friendship is worth saving.

Change doesn’t always turn out the way we want it to but it’s better than staying stuck in superficial roles instead of being fully alive. I take full responsibility for my choices and actions. Each time I try something new, no matter how difficult it may seem or what the outcome, I learn more about myself and am in more control of my life. I go from being a victim to being a master of my own life. It’s worth the risk and it doesn’t keep me from mourning the loss of a close friendship.