Five years ago I was laid off for the third time in my life and I didn’t have any luck finding a new job. There seemed to be a “cloak of invisibility” over me. I had a proven track record, a variety of talents and skills and I needed to find a means of paying my monthly bills because I was self-supporting. Nothing manifested no matter how much I networked or how many resumes I submitted. Months went by and I was frustrated to say the least.

I now know that this period of time was actually a gift since it allowed me to connect to others on a heart level and to truly be of service. I wouldn’t change those days of unemployment for anything because my ability to love was deepened and my feelings of gratitude expanded exponentially.

Because I was unemployed, I was able to spend a lot of time with a very close friend who had pancreatic cancer as well as another friend who was undergoing treatment for breast cancer. I did errands for both of them, took them to doctor’s appointments and spent time just “being there for them” with compassion during their most vulnerable times. We had “soul to soul” communication on a very intimate level. No topic was off limit and they didn’t want me to “fix” them, just to love them.

On the day before Thanksgiving in 2005, I was the relief shift for the husband of my friend, Rena, who was in a great deal of pain because what started as pancreatic cancer had spread throughout her body. I washed her hair, massaged her legs and just sat with her when she didn’t have the energy to do anything else.

About six hours later, her compassionate and loving husband, Len, came home to resume his care of his beloved wife of over 40 years. As I was about to leave, Rena opened her eyes and said, “Give me a kiss.” This was something she’d never asked for in the eleven years that I’d known her. I bent over and, instead of giving her a kiss, she gently stroked my cheek and gave me a very tender kiss. It was a very special moment and her husband and I both had tears in our eyes. I then left and returned home with a sense of peace.

Ten hours later, on Thanksgiving morning, I received a phone call from Len telling me that Rena had passed away in her sleep. I immediately felt gratitude for having been able to tell her that I loved her and getting a kiss from her. Then the tears flowed…
 

If I had landed a job and was working, I would have missed out on spending so much time with a very brave, brilliant and caring soul, my friend, who added so much to my life.

Sometimes not getting what you want is far better than actually receiving it. I wouldn’t have traded my time with Rena for a $1,000,000 a year job. That time was priceless. And, every Thanksgiving since then, I feel a sense of loss as well as a sense of gratitude.