Have you ever wondered why you get frustrated? Of course, there are many different situations which lead to frustration. You might feel frustrated because your spouse didn't put the cap on the toothpaste tube for the 10,000 time, the car in front of you seems to be moving slower than a turtle or you can't find a nice place to live in your desired neighborhood that's within your budget. You might feel frustrated because you didn't land a job after sending out hundreds of resumes, haven't found your soul mate, can't lose those last 10 pounds or are unable to heal your relationship with a family member, no matter how hard you've tried.

But why frustration? Why do we get frustrated? Why do we even have that emotion in our repertoire? It is certainly not pleasant. Our stress level increases, our irritability increases and our sense of dissatisfaction with our life increases. So what is the point of frustration?

Would you believe that frustration actually serves a positive purpose? Frustration focuses us. No matter what triggers the frustration, the purpose for frustration to stimulate positive action. If we had no capacity for frustration, we would have to constantly endure those negative factors. But frustration gives us a way out.

Frustration comes when the reality of life does not match our vision. We are running late and we want all the other cars to move out of our way. We are applying for jobs that don't match our skills and yet we expect to be hired. We thought that by this time in our life we'd be married, have a child and own our dream home. Once we realize that our life and our vision for our life aren't the same, we're in the driver's seat and can steer our life into a happier place.

There are, basically, two ways to end frustration—either by giving up the vision or by making it a reality. Giving up is only a short term solution, because our true vision does not easily give up. It tugs at our heart strings, shows up in our daydreams and often leads to the never ending "if only" syndrome.

In your frustration, you can see your vision. And in your frustration is the energy to attain that vision. Feel the frustration. Be thankful for it. Learn what it can teach you about yourself. And let it spur you into positive, life-changing action. Next time, leave for your appointment earlier, make sure your qualifications meet the job requirements or start seeing what you do have in you life rather than focusing on what's missing.  

Sand irritating an oyster is what creates a pearl. Frustration with the way something is done is what causes new inventions. Dissatisfaction with the number that appears on a scale is what causes people to make healthy life style changes. As the saying goes, "no pain, no gain."

Think of irritation, frustration and disappointment as traffic signals for your life. Those emotions are telling you to "stop, look and listen" to what's going on in your life and to evaluate where you want to go from here. What direction do you want this job, relationship or situation to take? Feelings of irritation, frustration and disappointment cause us to think "there must be a better way." They move us along on our life's journey.

Next time you feel frustrated, identify what other emotions or beliefs are associated with the frustration. You may hear words like: "I'm so stupid", "you'll never amount to anything", "everything has to be perfect", or "nothing I ever do is good enough." This process will give you a good roadmap about what's going on in your inner world. Once you see where your thoughts are leading you, you can intentionally change the thoughts and head in a new direction. 

By making the conscious choice to listen to your inner critic, you'll identify your challenges (some of which you might have carried with you from your childhood) and you'll have more information to help you decide what you want to do next. Are you using the frustration to motivate you to make changes that will bring you a goal you want or are you using it to stay stuck in a negative situation or to hold on to negative beliefs about yourself? Decide what changes you need to make either in your environment or your reaction to your environment and do something to improve the situation. No one but you sits in the driver's seat for your life. Where do you want to go from here?