Happiness is not the result of favorable conditions. That’s backwards. Favorable conditions result from happiness. So what does it take to be happy? Nothing more than a willingness to be happy and to pay attention to what’s going well in your life.

Happiness comes from the way you respond to life. There are people who have every reason to be miserable, but who still live with happiness and joy. Everyone has challenges and everyone has disappointments. Yet they do not have to get you down. True happiness comes not from the absence of problems but in spite of the problems. Happiness is not a reaction, it is a choice.

In 2007, for more than nine months, I had a challenge using my right arm and was unable to raise it higher than my waist. By the way, I'm right-handed which made the situation even more frustrating. I was in constant pain and had problems doing the most basic of things — washing my hair, putting on anything that had to go over my head, doing household chores and working at a traditional job. It was one of the most difficult periods of my life. I didn't deny what I was feeling and experiencing, I just changed my focus. I got through that time by reminding myself that I am more than my pain and my limitations. Was that hard? Absolutely! 

It's now 2009 and I still don't have 100% use of my right arm and shoulder. Some days are better than others and there isn't a day when I'm pain free. Yet, unlike other people I know, I'm happy. I'm grateful for what I do have, what I can do and I trust that my arm and my life will continue to get better and better and better.

I haven’t let the challenges I've experienced for almost two years stop me. I’ve felt the pain, limited my activities when necessary, done even the smallest things that things gave me joy: admired a sunrise or sunset, bought myself fresh flowers, volunteered to help some one else, gone for walks in art galleries, etc. And, all the while, I looked for the gift in the situation with my arm.

The biggest gift is that I learned to put myself first in the equation of life rather than at the bottom of the list. I’ve also learned that strangers can be very kind, friends can give of themselves and their time and that I’m worthy of receiving. By paying attention, I realized that I don’t have to do anything, I just have to be the best me I can be and my world is a happier place. I’ve also learned to listen to my intuition and to pay attention to my body. I no longer force it to do anything that it doesn’t feel capable of doing. I ask for help instead.

When you look at the world through the fog of your own worries, your anger, your frustration and impatience, many valuable things will just pass you by, completely unnoticed.

Imagine driving through town while someone is holding a gun to your head. Are you going to notice the new flower shop on the corner? Probably not. Your focus will be on that gun.

Are you holding a gun to your own head, by constantly focusing on what’s wrong with your life? Are you so obsessed with your own problems that you don’t see the opportunities all around you?

Your attention can be effectively focused on only one thing at a time. Sure you have problems and challenges. Yet what is the point, what is the value of agonizing over them?

Pay attention to what’s good about your life. Rather than worrying about what you don’t have or can't do, seek to make the best of all the good things you do have and are able to do. There are a lot of things right with your life. Give your attention to them and they will grow. I've learned that lesson from first hand experience and I remind myself on a daily basis of the life lesson.